sparks
Magic Words
Requiring versus Forcing – when you require something, like marriage before sex, you are not forcing it. If you fornicate, then pressure a guy to marry you, you are trying to force his hand. If you get pregnant to try and get a man to marry you, you are forcing him. Force never leads to a fairytale. Instead, women who force men end up feeling insecure, not good enough and unattractive.

Asking and Requests versus Demands
Asking is making a request that someone might say “No” to. Giving a demand is saying “Do this now” and there is no choice. In certain situations that are harmful or dangerous, demands like “No” and “Stop” are important. But, in regular day-to-day romantic life, men respond much better to asking or requesting.

Airlines require you have a ticket and boarding pass to get through security and onto the plane. You have a choice to be on the plane and you elect or choose to meet the requirements.

A police officer or criminal demands to see your license or to take your money. You have no choice.

Women don’t get to have “THE ONE”. Guys can have the one. But both will end happily every after if they court chastely and with integrity. Women marry the man they feel the most comfortable and happy around. The minute a woman says, “I want that man” she has become the man, is chasing him and she will never fall in love with him, he won’t fall in love with her and they do not get the fairy tale.

Men are giving, protecting, providing, cherishing, penetrating, conquering and controlling by nature and it is our duty to civilize a man. Our job as women is to be passive, patient, receptive, appreciative, respecting and feminine as long as a man is acting in a moral, ethical and legal way.

Men are always having to compete with other men and when they come home to a woman, they do not want to be bossed around or have to compete with her. That is why Good Girls know how to ask and require, versus demand. Good Girls know how to say, “No” without being attacking.

A huge mistake women make is not sharing both their positive and negative feelings with men who are courting you. A Good Girl shares her positive and negative feelings in feminine ways. We literally gush them.

You need to gush your happy feelings so he learns what feels good to you. You need to gush your unhappy feelings so he knows what doesn’t feel good to you. The right man will love hearing both from you and knowing you. He won’t like the ones where he hurt you but a good man wants to know how you feel and Good Girls are true to themselves.

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Examples

Gushing Appreciation
He brings pink roses, our favorite to dinner. “Steve, these are so beautiful. I love pink roses and you remembered. This makes me feel so adored. And, you brought me seven gorgeous roses. These will go in my pink vase at home and every day I look at them I will think of how you gave me such a perfect gift.”

Sharing Negative Feelings
He’s late or doesn’t call when he said. If he hurts our feelings by being late, the best way to approach this is to say the following. “John, I was really looking forward to seeing you and you have every right to be late without calling however it makes my heart race, it makes me feel sad and unimportant and disappointed.” One good man who was told the truth by a good girl, decided to regularly call 30-minutes before he was scheduled to call and show up 15-minutes early to not cause a Good Girl distress. Other men she was dating told her she was “needy” or “controlling” when she was being honest. Who do you think she is now happily with?

Saying, “No” and “Yes” to your self-respect
If a man tries to kiss us when we are chastely being courted, we can gently turn our head and use our hand to push him away gently. “Kevin, I so appreciate your inviting me out and I enjoy our time. I appreciate that you are attracted to me I am not comfortable with sodomy, fornication or premarital sex.

Requiring Marriage
“Jake, I know you have been courting me for several months however I’m just not comfortable sharing my body and having sex unless I’m married to the man. And, I’m not comfortable getting married to a man unless we share a faith, values, ideas about money.” Here is a great example of this from a famous man’s wife.
Watch minute 4 to minute 5.

Sharing Negative Feelings and sharing your values
A man courting us texts and says, “Send me a sexy photo of you”. Well, first of all, this man is not courting you because a man who is courting you wants to see you and doesn’t try to degrade you. But, if this guy asked you out again, “Joe, you had every right to text me and ask for a sexy photo however I almost cancelled this date. It felt so unchershing. I am not comfortable doing that for anyone and would not marry a man who wanted that. I am not comfortable with pornography of any kind.” Any man who calls you a prude or pressures you for this is a Frog and don’t accept an invitation again.

Sharing Negative Feelings and sharing your values
A man implies that he likes oral or anal sex, which again is not a man who is courting a woman but is a man seeking to use a woman. “I am not comfortable with sodomy, fornication or pre-marital sex.

He breaks agreements
“Matt, I want to share some negative feelings about my change purse with you. When it is convenient? You committed three different times to bringing my change purse that fell out of my purse in your car several weeks ago. You’ve said it three times, we’ve gone out three times and it’s been forgotten three times. It doesn’t feel good. I know it may seem small or petty, but I feel unimportant and keeping agreements with me feels unimportant.”
One man felt so inspired by this, that he offered to pay a $30 fine to the woman on the spot each time he didn’t keep a promise. He wanted to make sure he kept his word to her.

Sharing Negative Feelings and sharing your values
A man invites you out late at night; to a part of town you don’t feel comfortable in or to an isolated area. “Bob, I appreciate the invitation but I am not comfortable. I’d feel too scared, tired or isolated.” A good guy isn’t going to call you at 11:00pm or ask you to drive to the wilderness with him. He knows that’s too scary and dangerous.

A good man will call you between 9:00am and 8:00pm and want to see you as often as possible. He won’t want to be a phone buddy or pen pal. He is action not word based. He wants to be in your lovely presence as often as possible.

Asking
“Joe, I want to share a request with you. When is it convenient today to ask you? (He says now) When we walk into a restaurant, you tend to walk ahead of me and the door closes in my face. Would you consider holding the door open for me and waiting until I’m through to let it close? It would feel really good to me.”

Asking
“Carl (her husband), when it is convenient to get your advice today? (Then, when he is ready to listen) I really like that you are attracted to me and want to be intimate with me. I really enjoy being intimate with you as well. But I have a problem and I want your help. I get really tired around 9 pm and when you want to be intimate, I feel frustrated because I’m tired. I realize I get to bed so late because I’m doing laundry and other things so I look really busy. If you want to be intimate, will you just take my hand and take me to bed at 7:30pm so I can be receptive and joyful when we make love versus tired and cranky?”

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